Wanna know aboot fighting robots, eh?[edit | edit source]
Canada is a cold, miserable, durkadurkastan of a 'country' where all twenty-five residents pretend to be extremely polite and friendly while secretly amusing themselves through ruthless competition to be the most passive-aggressive douchebag in the entire fucking iceball. In fact, they regularly reach such masterfully subtle and ironic levels of passive-aggressiveness that it is entirely lost on citizens from other less civilized nations. Further amused by this and eager to see just how far they can take it since God knows there is nothing to do in Canada except go to Tim Horton's, play hockey, and get eaten by grizzly bears or those white bears that are dying because of global warming (which is very real and very serious), the Canadians actively cultivate an untouchably virtuous image through relentless virtue signalling and hokey turns of phrase that everyone else in the world loves ironically.
Oh yeah, robots. A few Canadians actually make these, in between fighting moose with hockey sticks, clubbing harp seals, and making snarky, superior-sounding but subtly envious and butthurt comments about their far more relevant neighbours to the south. I mean, none of them has done anything of note whatsoever, arguably even less than the best British robots (and best is a ferociously relative term in this instance), but at least none of them have managed to embarrass themselves and their completely irrelevant 'country' to nearly the extent that their British counterparts have.
The same can't be said for Canadian ARCers, however. Perhaps due to their nation's overwhelming but largely-unacknowledged inferiority complex, they are, without fail, the most ridiculous group of tryhards that ARC has ever seen. Kody and Alex have won over twenty titles between them, and regularly go into moody, whiny, passive-aggressive tailspins whenever they suffer so much as a single loss. Laz has yet to have a single millisecond of actual, unironic fun on ARC, in between crafting his next cheese wedge or exploitative deathspinner and going into histrionics when they fail to ruthlessly roflstomp everything in their paths. Hii is a weeaboo and, naturally, the redheaded stepchild of the bunch, having enjoyed precisely zero success on ARC, and Jules is... probably an extraterrestrial lifeform posing as a human woman in her mid-twenties. Just the fact that her bots manage to win is a testament to her mind-control powers. Will there be a sixth Canadian? We can only hope...
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